Hey guys and gals,
I am facing a dilemma. My best friend started dating a girl about nine months ago (we will call her Kate). Only thing is, I had asked her out two months before and had gotten friend-zoned. Now I understand that she may have not liked me and then grew feelings for my friend (we will call him Cade). So Cade and Kate start dating. I am friends with both of them so throughout the next eight months, I am the third wheel everywhere we go. People even started calling us the Dynamic Duo +1. After eight months, Cade decides to break it off, spewing reason after reason. It's pretty obvious he is lying and no one knows the real reason he broke up with Kate. Regardless, he ends it and Kate is heartbroken. They both come to me in the aftermath and I become a sort of buffer between and for the both of them.
This is where we get into my dilemma. I have maintained my attraction for Kate since the beginning. I have had a crush on her for over a year and a half and now he is single again. My heart tells me go for it but my brain is telling me don't. It says that if I were to go for it, I would be breaking "bro code" which means I would be dating my best friends ex. I know that it is not socially acceptable to do that but I cannot help my feelings.
So yesterday, I told her how I feel. She was not surprised and even seemed to be happy about it. She said that she had feelings for me as well but didn't know to what extent. We both then agree to a single date for this upcoming Wednesday. Dinner and a movie. This is to see to what extent she likes me.
The day passes and today, Kate tells me that, while she doesn't want to cancel the date, she has decide that the date will be the end of it, as she still has feelings for Cade. Cade ha moved on but seemed distantly upset when she told him that we were going on a date. I then told Kate that in the interest of not complicating our friendship, I didn't think we should go on the date. She welcomed this decision and that is how the conversation ended.
My dilemma:
I cannot get Kate out of my mind.
She seemed to be open to a date and possibly more.
She still has feelings for Cade.
I don't want to lost my best friend over Kate.
I want to be in a relationship with her.
Please give me your advice as to what I should do.
Thanks!
-Charles
I am facing a dilemma. My best friend started dating a girl about nine months ago (we will call her Kate). Only thing is, I had asked her out two months before and had gotten friend-zoned. Now I understand that she may have not liked me and then grew feelings for my friend (we will call him Cade). So Cade and Kate start dating. I am friends with both of them so throughout the next eight months, I am the third wheel everywhere we go. People even started calling us the Dynamic Duo +1. After eight months, Cade decides to break it off, spewing reason after reason. It's pretty obvious he is lying and no one knows the real reason he broke up with Kate. Regardless, he ends it and Kate is heartbroken. They both come to me in the aftermath and I become a sort of buffer between and for the both of them.
This is where we get into my dilemma. I have maintained my attraction for Kate since the beginning. I have had a crush on her for over a year and a half and now he is single again. My heart tells me go for it but my brain is telling me don't. It says that if I were to go for it, I would be breaking "bro code" which means I would be dating my best friends ex. I know that it is not socially acceptable to do that but I cannot help my feelings.
So yesterday, I told her how I feel. She was not surprised and even seemed to be happy about it. She said that she had feelings for me as well but didn't know to what extent. We both then agree to a single date for this upcoming Wednesday. Dinner and a movie. This is to see to what extent she likes me.
The day passes and today, Kate tells me that, while she doesn't want to cancel the date, she has decide that the date will be the end of it, as she still has feelings for Cade. Cade ha moved on but seemed distantly upset when she told him that we were going on a date. I then told Kate that in the interest of not complicating our friendship, I didn't think we should go on the date. She welcomed this decision and that is how the conversation ended.
My dilemma:
I cannot get Kate out of my mind.
She seemed to be open to a date and possibly more.
She still has feelings for Cade.
I don't want to lost my best friend over Kate.
I want to be in a relationship with her.
Please give me your advice as to what I should do.
Thanks!
-Charles
Best friends Ex
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